You say you love me, then you say you just want to be friends. Your confusing andit makes me not want to be your friend. I love you though with all my heart. I see that you gave samantha another chance. Which was a very bad mistake. She has had enough chances.
I cant live without you. I should just go ahead and kill myself.
But yet I know that my problem is temporary and I am thinking of a perminent solution. So I wont do anything. I wont kill myself I wont hurt myself over you.
I just love you thats all.

I just want to shout

I just want to scream right now.
I dont think anything is fair.
I lose everyone I love and I dont have anyone to rely on.
Someone help me before I just totally end it

Please

If your out there somewhere reading this, I want to let you know that I really do love you. I wish we could see eachother, but we cant and I kno that but I still cant get you off my mind.

You know who you are.

I love you

I love you. You mean everything to me please I hope you see this somehow. And if you do I hope you feel the same way. Because your always on my mind. I swear I would never try and hurt you or anything I promise. I wish so much that you would feel the same way for me. Because I just love you so much. I will always be there for you. Through thick and thin.

I'll wait for you and I will never leave you.
I love you

~ShannonSullivan

Contact

If anyone needs to contact me about anything thats going on or just needs personal advice feel free to contact me at shannonsullivan80@yahoo.com make sure you use your name and were you got my email.

Thanks can't wait to here from you guys.

~Shannon Sullivan

Web of lies

I'm tired of your web of lies. You have so many lies in this relationship. How are you gonna get yourself out of this one huh? You gonna make a new lie? Why dont you just start telling the truth, and you wonder why I dont trust you. Its because you are a liar. I dont like liars. My whole life so far I have had my heartbroken. You want to know why. Its because I believed everyones lies. Well I am not doing that anymore.

I wont know the difference...

Please just love me. Even if you dont love me, the least you can do for me is to pretend. My heart slows when you walk away and speeds up when you come close to me. My deepest and most hopeful wish is that me and you will be together someday. I love you so much. I would never hurt. I would never leave you. I would do anything for you... Just love me please...

love me...please...

Please love me...thats all I ask...
I need you...I want you...so badly...
Your slowly killing me...

No matter how hard I try...

I cant get you out of my head no matter how hard I try it is impossible for me to get you out of my head. I love you that's all. I thought you were different. I thought you were not the one to judge I guess I was wrong. Oh well... not the first time I got my heart broken. I just no that someday i hope and wish and pray that you will be mine...

Get out as soon as you can...

They f**k you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f**ked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

fools

fool...one of the worst things you can be called. I know what you might being saying, "theres far worse that you can be called". I think not. A fool is being called ignorant, stupid, nothing, etc. A fool is like your being called every bad name out there. A fool is a person that does stupid thing and doesn't regret them. A fool is someone you looks to crime and danger. A fool never cares, never loves, and never shows his true colors.

Bullying

A little boy killed himself because of bullying. He told his mother that he goes through it everyday. He says that he gets called gay all the time and other names. One day the little boy came home from school a little happier than usual, he had a straight A's and B's report card. when he showed his report card he went upstairs and closed the door. His mom went to make dinner. When the dinner was done the little boy's sister called him down to go eat. When the little boy didn't answer his mom and sister went upstairs to see why. When they looked in his room they saw him hanging from the ceiling by his belt. His sister and his mother saw this. Everyone in his family was traumatized. They didn't know what to think. his mother went to go ask his best friend a few days after to go see why he did this. His best friend said that the little boy said "I am tired of complaining about these guy they just keep messing with me". Tired of talking, I think to his teachers, counselors and nobody is doing anything -- and the best way out is death." That is what the little boy said to his best friend the day he died.

Please if you know someone being bullied stick up for them. You don't know how seriously it can affect the. Every human has an edge. You need to be careful not to push them off.

Okay so there is this person that I love with all my heart. I was talking to them for awhile and they are just like me. I swear I had never met anyone that I could open up to like this. I love this person with all my heart. I made the biggest mistake though... I told this person how I felt. By doing that I wrecked my whole life. Everything came crashing down. I never thought my life could change that fast. I cry now every night because of this person. I poured my heart out and i will never do that again. Next time I will just hold it all in.
My life is still falling. Its almost like and bottomless pit whenever I think i have reached rock bottom I just keep falling. I hate it. I've tried everything I cant get back up, I'm scared to death. I'm in tears. I need help. But wherever I turn its not there. Its just black...

Pray for me please...

Blindness

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying..... "Just take care of my eyes dear." i'll always love you forever..

Biggest fear

when i Ly awake at night thinking about you. I get really scared that something might happen to you. I don't know why I do I just do. I wake up and start to cry because I have the worst dreams ever about you dying or getting severely hurt.I don't want that to happen, because well, I love you.
Another big fear that I have is sort of like the same thing except your not dying just falling for another person. In my thoughts when i Lay awake at night it feels almost real you falling for another person. but I hope that it will never happen.

Weirdness

Well I guess I am really weird to all of these other people. i don't mean to be mean. I just say hi a lot. But I guess that they get offended when i say hi to much and that i should just not even say hi to them. because when i do I hear a few days later that that person is talking bad about me behind my back. So then I just stop talking to them. Then that person comes up to me and says hi. Then I say hi back, then i am back to saying hi hundreds of times. i really don't mean to say hi so much its whenever I am around this person I just seem to say hi because I don't know what else to say. I just get really nervous. I don't usually get nervous I guess its just only with you. Well your just something special to me, that's why I say hi so much.

The person i love

I love you more than anything. When i am next to you I feel like I can fly. The first time I saw you I was instantly in love with you. I hope I don't try to hard to make you smile. i just love your smile. I love who you are, your personality, your looks, your spirit. Your just an amazing person. I love you so much. I hope someday we can be more and i can hold you in my arms and say "i love you".

okay so I am in love.

I am so inlove, I get light headed whenever I am near this person. I love this person more than I love myself. I would give my life for this person. I feel like I can fly when I am around this person. But sadly this person does not love me back. I hope they can learn to relize that I love them very much, infact I love them more than i love myself.

True love and dying

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die in the arms of the your one true love. I think that if you were to die in the arms of the one your one true love that dying wouldnt be that bad. because you could here their heart beat their breathing you could hear them whisper "I love you" or "dont leave me" or I wont let you go, ever". I think that it would be the most wonderful thing to die in the arms of your true love.

School Shootings

Its a scary thought just sitting there in class wondering if this might be the day our school will experience a shooting. Its very scary. So many school have experienced shootings. Why have so many schools been experiencing shootings. It's because there are a lot of miss treated children that feel they have to get revenge. They have to prove themselves to people that don't even treat themselves right, that their something on this planet. I personally think it is very sad to think about because so many kids go through this and so many kids will go through this. Its a sad sad thing to think about. I remember this book I read that touched my heart in an emotional and spiritual way. The book was called "Rachel's Tears". It's about the columbine shooting. Its very very sad, but also very mind lifting and when i say mind lifting I mean the books gives you another sense to how other people deal with these things. So many people have lost children in shootings. People will say that there hasnt been very many shootings but there actually has been a lot of shootings and a lot of people losing their lives from these insane things that happen.

Labels

I'm not raciest but i am so tired of blacks always saying that whites are raciest. Because I mean their the ones trying to be different I mean how they talk, and how they dress. They always act in a totally different way. it's like their trying to be different. And they always blame us because their different. They always take it out on whites. Okay and when a white person calls a black person a nigger, well that white person will be so bruised up the next day. But if the blacks call each other that or other people that well their totally fine the rest of the day. And they call white people cracker I mean whats up with that. And we don't get mad when they call us that we just let it roll of our backs. But they hold a grudge they'll give you mean looks and threaten us. I am getting sick and tired off it.

Friends that you want as more

I live through my dark existence
only to bask in your beauty
your eyes that shine like sapphires
your smile that brightens even my sad existence
I envy the wind that runs through your hair
that touches your lips
I long to touch you
to hold you in my arms but I cannot
for your heart belongs to another
so, I can only love you from afar
your friendship means more to me
than anything this world provides
but like an angel you touched my heart
in a way that I've never felt before
cause I've never known what love is until this day
I know that we are only friends
but my heart wishes it to be more
so I will still hope and dream
that one day I can feel your lips pressed to mine
to hold you in my arms and say, "I love you"

Secrets and fake friends

Don't you hate it when you tell one of your really good friends a huge secret that you have. Then when your done telling them it they go tell everyone. Then everyone will come up to you and be like "woa really". Just out of knowhere I mean don't you hate that. And you know you have trusted that person a lot and then next thing you know they are making fun of you and your secret.

I say to people

You shouldnt be deppressed if you are deppressed right now, because well life goes by to fast to spend it deppressed about something stupid like I did. I was deppressed because my boyfriend was a jerk, but I learned to rise above it. Life is for the alive, so start living it. Thats my motoe, whats yours?

Friends

Friends.
I dont know where I would be without them. I would probably be dead. So many of my friends have given such great advice and they have shared their wisdon. I love my friend. I can count on them for anything. I love them.

My ex-boyfriend

Well,
were do i start,
My ex is a man whore. Because every time I looked over at him he was doing something to a girl he was either hitting on her sharing seats with her giving her his jacket and everyone of these girls are different and this all happened today! I was so mad but mostly I was mad at myself for wasting my time on him. I was mad at myself for loving him so much. I always new deep down when I was going out with him that I would end up hating him and now look whats happened. i hate him with all my heart. i hate guys who are like this. Every guy I have gone out with has done this and I am sick and tired of it. I know the lord will bring me someone special, someone that can relate to me. Someone that won't brake their promises, someone that I can trust. Someone that will love me as much as I love them.

Today

Today I broke up with my boyfriend.
Here's what happened.
Okay yesterday he was all like Shannon I think we need to take a break till Monday. Because I wrote about how that girl is coming over to spend two nights at his house. So then today i told him you know what Carson I think we should brake up permanently.
So now hes telling everyone one he broke up with me. When technically that's not true. Because all he wanted to do was take a break but I was the one that ended it.

Myspace

Anyone want find me on Myspace they can. -----> www.myspace.com/emo_714714

Love for me

Love for me is not fun. I usually end up getting my heart broken, because every time I find a guy that I truly love with all my heart he usually ends up breaking it. Misery loves me for some reason. I have no idea why. I am just its target if there's something it wants to make miserable I am the target. I hate when you love someone its like you want to guys inside there skin as if your one with them. But we all know not everyone loves like that.

Suicide

Yes we have all thought about it, and don't say you haven't. Well if your thinking about doing it now well don't, because god has a reason for you if he didn't you probably wouldn't be on this Earth.

How cheating starts

Cheating starts whenever a guy has a really good friend that's a girl. They become really good friend and then usually not all the time the guy starts to like the guy. Then he starts spending a lot of time with this so called "friend". So when a guy is spending to much time with his "friend". You should probably start questioning him. To make sure hes not up to know good and if you think your boyfriend isn't the honest type well then kinda see what happens. But to keep yourself from getting hurt you need to lose feelings for him.

The smallest promises can be the biggest lies

It doesn't matter how small the promise is. it can turn out to be the biggest lie, or the biggest heart brake. People get hurt, it doesn't matter how big or small the promise is, or how sorry you are for breaking it. You can't change the fact that you hurt that person. So next time when a person gets mad at you, because you keep bringing up how they hurt you so badly. You should tell them that no matter how big or small the promise is it still hurt. You should tell them that, see how they react. Will they get mad, probably. What I am saying is to try not to break so many promises because it doesn't exactly matter how big or small the promise is it still hurts.

Trust or honesty, which one?

Which one do you need to have someones love? Most people would say trust, and others would say honesty. I say both because in order for you to have trust you have to have honesty.

Issues

I have noticed that I have a lot of issues. I have issues like trust, love, friendship, etc. I have all kind of issues. I dont know how to deal with them. There to hard to deal with.

Death,Sadness,Misery

Ok seems like all the time in my life bad things happen a whole lot. So many things have happened and it all started when i was 5 or 6 years old. I remember when i lived in florida, my daddy had watched a movie a lot of times. I remember he had been watching it since saturday or friday. It was Sunday when he started to act really weird. Then he just randomly starts pushing things over and screaming over and over again. I remember hearing my moms voice screaming at him. oh yeah and while this was happening me and my sister were in the bathroom hiding because we were only little and didnt know what to think about what was going on.

Then me and my sister hear that it has gotten quite. So we get out of the bathroom and go to see why it has gotten so quite. but we didnt see anyone in the house. So we went to our moms bedroom to look to see if anyone was at our pond. Oh yeah and at the time we lived in a really big house with 40 acres and a pond. Anyway, so we went to go look out of the window and there was my mom and daddy walking hand in hand up to the house. But me and my sister were scared of daddy now and so this time we went into my room to go hide in the closet.

Next thing you know we hear screaming again. Then i hear our mom say 'no hes got a gun!' So then me and my sister got really scared! We didnt know what to think. Then we heard the gun go off with a very loud BANG! Then we heard our mom scream so loudly, it was louder than the time before. Then for sure she started to yell really loudly. I heard her get the phone then about 2 minutes later, we hear all of these sirens heading up to our house and a helicopter and everything.

My mom ran us out of the house as fast as she could. Then she gave us to a policemen and he put us into his car and turned the car around so we were facing away from the house. I had peeked back to see what was going on and for sure enough i saw my daddy getting taken out of our house in a stretcher with blood trailing along. As the helicopter left our house with my dad in it and my mom went in her van to go to the hospital. All of our relatives were over here in an instant it seemed like.

our mom returned the next afternoon and took us into our room and told us were daddy was, i remember her exact words "girls your daddy is not coming home. hes.....gone....". When i heard this i went into complete shock although i didnt know how he died, but i didnt feel like asking. A few days later my mom sold all of my daddy's guns. When i went over to the spot in my house were our gun safe was before but not anymore i could see a big red spot. I knew it was my dads blood but i still didnt know how he had died. So a few days later i asked my mom and she sat both me and my sister down and said 'Your father shot himself'..............

A broken heart

This is how I put it.

A heart is like a glass. But not just any glass your favorite drinking glass. You fill the glass up till its all the way full.

A broken heart is like a glass that fell on the floor. You found pieces to it and tried to glue it back together. Once your done you notice that your missing pieces. The pieces that your missing are lost on the floor. There probably maybe under a table or in a small dark corner. In fact sometimes it seems like there hiding from you. But you notice that without those missing pieces that you lost and ruined because your broke the glass. you notice you will never be able to fill the glass back up. So you will never be able to drink out of that glass again. It will just sit there getting dusty. Just like a broken heart would.

End of the world?

People think that the end of the world is coming the year 2012. They think that the whole solar system is going to have the butterfly affect. Which means that the Universe is going to fall apart. They also think that there will be a nuclear war also known as World War 3. Or their people that are just bored and saying that were going to be abducted by aliens. I laugh at the one. The point of doing this one post is to tell people that I highly doubt the end of the world will be 2012 on December 21st, because they thought that we were going to lose all computrs in the year 2000, but we didn't. We have actually progressed in technology. So what I am saying is don't get all worked up about the whole end of the world thing, it's not true. The goverment is just trying to scare us and get us to buy provisions to help us not to die on that day. The goverment says to spend the last 3 years doing whatever you want to. No thats a lie they want you to buy more stuff so they can get more money, because of taxes. So don't listen to the goverment there trying to scare us.

Lying

Gosh Lying can take a person any were. It can take them to an awesome place were the lie took them such as some one's house, or a lie can take them to a bad place like the police department, well you get the idea. lying is a bad thing to do. So don't do it

Love

Love is probably the most confusing thing I have ever dealt with. It has always confused me, and now I know why. It's because I need to learn how to trust people. I guess that's why I haven't ever really been good at love relationships. But today I just realized something. I realized that I trust the guys i go out with I just don't trust the girls, because you know that there is an awful lot of girls out there that can manipulate guys to do anything. So I guess that every ones hormones are raising and that most of the people are always horny. So right now I am really looking for a guy that's not like always horny, because that just makes it harder to trust him.

Gossip

Everyone gossips from time to time. Do you know why people gossip like this, it's because they have know life. They try to make one by gossiping. People think that by hurting other people they will be able to just by gossiping.

Cheating

Cheating, we've all been through it. Cheating can scrap you across the sky with sadness, because the person that cheated on you, you loved with all your heart. Okay people that have had this happen, I feel terrible for you, trust me I have been through it too, but hey I know something that cheered me up. I said to myself when that happened to me, I said "hey if he wants to be that way then guess what I wont waste my time on him. He doesn't deserve me anyway."
The next time a guy cheats on you, I'm not saying he is going to I am just saying if there is a guy that is going to cheat on you I want you to say those words out loud so everyone hears you. It will make you feel much better.

Trust

Trust. We all have those days were we think we can't trust someone but we can. All because someone in the past ruined our trust for other people. The saying that I love is "forgive and forget". That's my saying. Use it, it will help. If someone brakes that special connection of trust then you know what there not worth your time, because it was there stupid action that broke your trust so, hey, it was there fault, why should you get confused about the whole thing? They lost it. So don't take the blame and hurt that someone else caused. What you do is turn it into Strength and wisdom. I remember I really trusted this boy and he was the apple of my eye. He was everything to me. I trusted him and he broke that trust twice and I have given him one last chance check back the Monday after Valentines to see if I'm still with him I think i probably will be, but who knows, if hes that stupid do lose my trust then hey he doesn't deserve me.

I wonder...

Have you ever wondered were the wind would take you if you just followed it? I have I wonder that every day. I think about taking that chance everyday. I have said to myself "mabye theres something better out there that needs to be discovered? Mabye I should just run with the wind and just leave this place." I really don't like the place I am at. It's suficating me. I can't think straight here. Everyone here has gossip, sex, or money on their mind. So they will just make everyone else mserable around them, but I have relized that if you just leave it alone mabye you can just float above it, glide across it, soar through it, or just play along with the devil. You never know when your going to be dealing with a demon. They love to fight its like thats there job. I know its funny how demons don't have a life anymore, but you know they can't even breath without fighting.