Issues

I have noticed that I have a lot of issues. I have issues like trust, love, friendship, etc. I have all kind of issues. I dont know how to deal with them. There to hard to deal with.

Death,Sadness,Misery

Ok seems like all the time in my life bad things happen a whole lot. So many things have happened and it all started when i was 5 or 6 years old. I remember when i lived in florida, my daddy had watched a movie a lot of times. I remember he had been watching it since saturday or friday. It was Sunday when he started to act really weird. Then he just randomly starts pushing things over and screaming over and over again. I remember hearing my moms voice screaming at him. oh yeah and while this was happening me and my sister were in the bathroom hiding because we were only little and didnt know what to think about what was going on.

Then me and my sister hear that it has gotten quite. So we get out of the bathroom and go to see why it has gotten so quite. but we didnt see anyone in the house. So we went to our moms bedroom to look to see if anyone was at our pond. Oh yeah and at the time we lived in a really big house with 40 acres and a pond. Anyway, so we went to go look out of the window and there was my mom and daddy walking hand in hand up to the house. But me and my sister were scared of daddy now and so this time we went into my room to go hide in the closet.

Next thing you know we hear screaming again. Then i hear our mom say 'no hes got a gun!' So then me and my sister got really scared! We didnt know what to think. Then we heard the gun go off with a very loud BANG! Then we heard our mom scream so loudly, it was louder than the time before. Then for sure she started to yell really loudly. I heard her get the phone then about 2 minutes later, we hear all of these sirens heading up to our house and a helicopter and everything.

My mom ran us out of the house as fast as she could. Then she gave us to a policemen and he put us into his car and turned the car around so we were facing away from the house. I had peeked back to see what was going on and for sure enough i saw my daddy getting taken out of our house in a stretcher with blood trailing along. As the helicopter left our house with my dad in it and my mom went in her van to go to the hospital. All of our relatives were over here in an instant it seemed like.

our mom returned the next afternoon and took us into our room and told us were daddy was, i remember her exact words "girls your daddy is not coming home. hes.....gone....". When i heard this i went into complete shock although i didnt know how he died, but i didnt feel like asking. A few days later my mom sold all of my daddy's guns. When i went over to the spot in my house were our gun safe was before but not anymore i could see a big red spot. I knew it was my dads blood but i still didnt know how he had died. So a few days later i asked my mom and she sat both me and my sister down and said 'Your father shot himself'..............

A broken heart

This is how I put it.

A heart is like a glass. But not just any glass your favorite drinking glass. You fill the glass up till its all the way full.

A broken heart is like a glass that fell on the floor. You found pieces to it and tried to glue it back together. Once your done you notice that your missing pieces. The pieces that your missing are lost on the floor. There probably maybe under a table or in a small dark corner. In fact sometimes it seems like there hiding from you. But you notice that without those missing pieces that you lost and ruined because your broke the glass. you notice you will never be able to fill the glass back up. So you will never be able to drink out of that glass again. It will just sit there getting dusty. Just like a broken heart would.

End of the world?

People think that the end of the world is coming the year 2012. They think that the whole solar system is going to have the butterfly affect. Which means that the Universe is going to fall apart. They also think that there will be a nuclear war also known as World War 3. Or their people that are just bored and saying that were going to be abducted by aliens. I laugh at the one. The point of doing this one post is to tell people that I highly doubt the end of the world will be 2012 on December 21st, because they thought that we were going to lose all computrs in the year 2000, but we didn't. We have actually progressed in technology. So what I am saying is don't get all worked up about the whole end of the world thing, it's not true. The goverment is just trying to scare us and get us to buy provisions to help us not to die on that day. The goverment says to spend the last 3 years doing whatever you want to. No thats a lie they want you to buy more stuff so they can get more money, because of taxes. So don't listen to the goverment there trying to scare us.

Lying

Gosh Lying can take a person any were. It can take them to an awesome place were the lie took them such as some one's house, or a lie can take them to a bad place like the police department, well you get the idea. lying is a bad thing to do. So don't do it

Love

Love is probably the most confusing thing I have ever dealt with. It has always confused me, and now I know why. It's because I need to learn how to trust people. I guess that's why I haven't ever really been good at love relationships. But today I just realized something. I realized that I trust the guys i go out with I just don't trust the girls, because you know that there is an awful lot of girls out there that can manipulate guys to do anything. So I guess that every ones hormones are raising and that most of the people are always horny. So right now I am really looking for a guy that's not like always horny, because that just makes it harder to trust him.

Gossip

Everyone gossips from time to time. Do you know why people gossip like this, it's because they have know life. They try to make one by gossiping. People think that by hurting other people they will be able to just by gossiping.

Cheating

Cheating, we've all been through it. Cheating can scrap you across the sky with sadness, because the person that cheated on you, you loved with all your heart. Okay people that have had this happen, I feel terrible for you, trust me I have been through it too, but hey I know something that cheered me up. I said to myself when that happened to me, I said "hey if he wants to be that way then guess what I wont waste my time on him. He doesn't deserve me anyway."
The next time a guy cheats on you, I'm not saying he is going to I am just saying if there is a guy that is going to cheat on you I want you to say those words out loud so everyone hears you. It will make you feel much better.

Trust

Trust. We all have those days were we think we can't trust someone but we can. All because someone in the past ruined our trust for other people. The saying that I love is "forgive and forget". That's my saying. Use it, it will help. If someone brakes that special connection of trust then you know what there not worth your time, because it was there stupid action that broke your trust so, hey, it was there fault, why should you get confused about the whole thing? They lost it. So don't take the blame and hurt that someone else caused. What you do is turn it into Strength and wisdom. I remember I really trusted this boy and he was the apple of my eye. He was everything to me. I trusted him and he broke that trust twice and I have given him one last chance check back the Monday after Valentines to see if I'm still with him I think i probably will be, but who knows, if hes that stupid do lose my trust then hey he doesn't deserve me.

I wonder...

Have you ever wondered were the wind would take you if you just followed it? I have I wonder that every day. I think about taking that chance everyday. I have said to myself "mabye theres something better out there that needs to be discovered? Mabye I should just run with the wind and just leave this place." I really don't like the place I am at. It's suficating me. I can't think straight here. Everyone here has gossip, sex, or money on their mind. So they will just make everyone else mserable around them, but I have relized that if you just leave it alone mabye you can just float above it, glide across it, soar through it, or just play along with the devil. You never know when your going to be dealing with a demon. They love to fight its like thats there job. I know its funny how demons don't have a life anymore, but you know they can't even breath without fighting.