I miss...

I miss the past, And I want the future. I don't know where to turn to, I know I cant go back to the past but the past keeps coming to get me. Everything is confusing me. I am in an endless battle with myself.I feel that there is know way out of this cruel and indignant world we know as Earth. I miss the good old days, when you had something to wake up for in the mornings.
I miss hanging out with my dad outside, riding the golf cart with him. I remember making our first chicken Coop together. I remember when he accidentally shot himself in the thumb with a nail shooter. I miss all of that, I miss his face and I miss the peace that I felt when I was with him.
I miss the friendship I had with my sister. She was the best friend I had always dreamed of. We used to take pictures together and hang out at the movies and we would make fun of people on the Internet or people not on the Internet. We had good times together.
Now it seems like the depression and hurt is all starting to get to me. I try to fight it away. But it keeps coming back. Its like I am falling into a pit the has no end, no exit, no way of getting out. I hate this feeling, I will do anything to get me out of this feeling. But its hard to because I have gotten so used to its behavior. Its like its always been there and its not going away.
Then there is you. You were the one that helped me though the hard times. You are the one that I need in my life. I cant live without you. I can barely go a week without seeing you. You have asked me to marry you and I have said yes, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you Indiana you are my everything.
Forever and ever.